“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
— Steve Martin

“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”
— Andy Rooney

“All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.”
— Alexander Woollcott

“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”
— Alan Dundes

“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.”
— Al McGuire

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”
— Abraham Lincoln

“Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy.”
— Anonymous

“I finally realised that people are prisoners of their phones… that’s why it’s called a “cell” phone.”
— Anonymous

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
— Napoleon Bonaparte